Seriously.
4 years ago, I’m cashiering at a whacky mart on a register that holds
all the smokes and alcohol. It’s 10pm and these two young men (early
20s) come up to the counter. They have three random novelty items (I
don’t remember they were), but it was strange and unusual to get odd
items this late at night. Maybe it was for some fraternity, I don’t
know. It’s a college town so I get weird stuff from frats a lot. I scan
the items and tell them their total is $22.xx.
Grinning at each other, they reach into their jackets and slam down
two gallon zip-lock bags, full of only pennies. I stare them in the eye,
but they didn’t even look back at me. Everyone else in line groan and
went to other registers. These two kids knew what they were doing, but
they didn’t know what they were in for because I prepared for this; I
knew this was going to inevitably happen. I grinned with them, because I
was gonna get paid during this. These pranksters are here for
recreation. This convo occurs between Me, Ringleader (the other guy was
silent and awkward), and a friendly coworker of mine.
Me: Is this $22.xx?
Ringleader: …
Me: Did you count it?
Ringleader: Nope.
Me: Are you going to?
Ringleader: Nope.
Me: Is it at least $22.xx?
Ringleader: Don’t know.
Me: Nice.
Coworker: Hey! You guys can use the self checkout. It can take all of your coins at once.
Me: Oh, don’t worry about it Cowor–
Ringleader: Nope, don’t trust them lady. (Partner laughs)
Coworker: What? Why!?
Ringleader: Doesn’t count all your change right.
Coworker: I’ve used them before. It really works!
Me: (to Coworker) I got this.
I unpacked the ziplocks and threw all the pennies on the counter. It
was a beautiful, massive shitstorm of a mess. And I digged in it. I was
Frank in a dumpster in ‘It’s Always Sunny’. The two, still averting my
gaze, start chuckling as if they were taking away my dignity. They
whisper to each other “Dude oh my God,” “Dude yeah,” “Dude, hilarious.”
I counted each penny, one by one. My coworker comes up to me.
Coworker: Guess I’ll help you count this.
Me: Don’t worry about it.
(She looks at me confused. Then she puts on her ‘get down to busy’ look.)
Coworker: I got your back.
Me: Oh…ok.
We worked up a system where we counted ten, put them in a pile, then
with ten stacks of ten pennies we separated them, making $1 piles. We
made progress slowly but surely. Some customers came to the line, but we
advised them to get to another line. Some of them looked at us
confused, but when they saw the counter full of pennies they understood.
Some decided to wait, but when they realized it wasn’t going to take
just a few minutes they took their leave. Another register in the liquor
department opened so it wasn’t too bad for other customers. We get to
about $12 (about 10min in) until I “knocked” over the piles.
Coworker: Neontonsil!
Me: Oops. Sorry.
(Coworker looks at my grin. I give her a wink and tilt my head, motioning her to leave)
Coworker: You know what, I think I better let you do this.
Me: Ha, alright.
(Coworker leaves. I look at the two guys. They are absolutely stunned at the fallen piles of pennies.)
Me: (To Ringleader) Yeah, I’m going to have to count all of this again.
Ringleader: ….Ok.
I started from zero. I count slower then ever, and made my way back
up. The duo is entirely silent. I get to about $7, when suddenly I say:
Me: Drats. I lost count. I better start all over again.
Ringleader: Really?
Me: Oh yeah man.
Ringleader: Why!?
Me: I lost count, sir. I could be in trouble if my register doesn’t
have the right amount of cash, and I don’t want to rip you off.
Ringleader: …
It’s about an hour later. My manager walks past, looks at me. I smile
at him, and he looks at the counter. He walks away without a word. I
eventually count all the change and surprisingly they had only $18!
Me: Hmm, I think that this is $18.
(The duo has been dead silent. They look done for the night.)
Me: I’ll recount it.
I fucking recounted it.
Me: I think this is actually $19.xx.
(Without a word, the Ringleader whips out a $5)
Me: Seriously? You had cash?
Ringleader: Needed to get rid of my change.
Me. No problem. I’ll just recount this again. I want to make
perfectly sure that this is $19, since I counted $18 the first time.
Ringleader: Are you kidding me?
(I shake my head no, completely serious)
He takes out a $20 bill straight out of his pocket and throws it at
me. My coworker gives the biggest WHAT THE FUCK face. Internally, I die
as well, because they were smart enough to have a backup plan. And the
fact that he was touching his cash in his pocket the entire time kinda
messed with me. I take the cash, do the transaction, give him his
change, thanked him and wished him a good night. The two start to put
their pennies back in the ziplock bags and I didn’t help them at all. I
watched them just as how they watched me. Lots of pennies dropped to the
floor, but they didn’t care to pick them up. It looked like their souls
were sucked out of them. It was past midnight and I clocked out way
past when I was supposed to. A lot of my coworkers gave me a thumbs up
or told me good night. Even my manager told me ‘good job,’ the only two
words he ever said to me. Went to bed at the dorms after such a great
petty penny night and crashed. Strange to say, but I’d love to count
pennies again.
TL;DR I recounted 1900 pennies like 5 times. Was it 5 times? I better count again.
“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’mNOT. About to start NOW.”
-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut
Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this
I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing
so lady comes through drive thru. “Hi what can I get for you?” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?” “No” “Alright, you can pull up” and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?”
I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice
“Hi how are you today?”
She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.”
I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.” “I know what you meant. But it was rude.” “Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.” She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy) I’m like “… ok”
So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do.
“Hi, can I help you?” “Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.” “Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.” Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.” She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.” Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.” “Oh”
Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?” Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.” Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?
So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss “And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.” boss goes “We don’t do that here.” “yea you do.” “No we don’t.” “yea you do.” “Have a good day.”
Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.
I work in a bakery and a customer came in and asked for a sausage roll, which is a sausage, rolled in flaky pastry, and they are normally 49p each.
I told him he could get four for £1 because we had a deal on and he looked me dead in the eye and said “what the fuck kind of person do you think I am…” then turned around and walked back out the shop.
Each and every morning you brew and sweeten the tea. You pour bowl after bowl of sugar into the container until you can no longer notice the subtle taste of rust.
A baby is crying. The sound is shrill but not unfamiliar as another child joins in complete unison. You don’t even notice the change in volume as you try to recall the last table’s order.
“Checking in the back” reveals some of the largest cans you’ve ever seen with scratched out and illegible labels. You push past the multicolored cleaners, vats of chemical preservatives to keep the grills and floors young and vital for eternity. You hope you can find what you’re looking for.
You freeze for a moment and realize someone asked for an extra side with their order. Was it the table that you just left? Did someone leave having never received it? You try to check the computer but the required authorizations begin to cloud the screen until you forget what you were trying to remember.
The chefs’ hands move quickly and catch your eye. The films on the surface of their sauces bubble and churn as their ladles and spoons disturb them. The deep, red boiling seems to catch your eye before they quickly take one rectangular container away and replace it with a new one. Was there something wrong with it?
A plate hits the ground and you can hear it break before you even see the impact. You feel a sharp pain in your side as the ceramic splits in two. Doubling over and muttering apologies doesn’t seem to help.
In the manager’s office there are nine security camera feeds. Glancing over them shows a camera that points into the manager’s office. You try to find yourself on screen but seem to be unable to. You turn around to see a camera staring you down with its single onyx eye.
You stretch your arm to reach further into the back of the fridge. The condensation feels cold and damp on the skin. And sticky. And much more cold now than you were anticipating. Looks like you might have found what you needed.
The music inexplicably stops and the clusters of televisions cut to black. Without a foundation, all other noises in the building crumble before ceasing. Everyone looks around nervously in dead silence. You hope to God for someone to say something. Everyone is staring directly at you.
The restaurant’s rear door slams shut and the silence of nighttime is deafening. The glaze on your eyes begins to melt. How long has it been since you left?
So, fun fact for all of you history dorks, but you know that legend about Cleopatra being so rich and trashy that she would drink her wine with crushed up pearls in it?
Pearls are mostly Calcium Carbonate. When they mix with acids (such as those in wine) they produce carbon dioxide like little balls of fancy alkaseltzer.
What Im saying is, call Cleopatra a trashy hoe all you want, but she was the trashy hoe who invented instant champagne. Bitch was living in 3018 while everyone else was in 18
If you’re not following @raindovemodel on Instagram, then you should. They’re trying to get to 250k in order to qualify for a campaign they’re interested in. They’re very woke and all about defying gender stereotypes and breaking gender roles.
