marvel is disney’s forever cash cow! it appeals to children, teens, and sweaty adults! it’s all quite loud and colorful, with the same safe formula every time, but with different directors and tweaks to make it whatever the fuck memorable each time. plus the reliance on violence to push the plot will give them those dank US military checks until explosions go extinct. truly we live in horrific times but i don’t really care
thank u all for letting me know the military quit cutting checks for the MCU after Avengers because they got offended bc the fictional magic men are an alternative to the american military. i’m sorry i was misinformed but more importantly that’s really, really, really, really, really fucking funny
Just to clarify – the Pentagon pulled out of the Avengers (and thus the MCU) because it wasn’t clear whether SHIELD was a branch of the US government, and, if so, where it fell in relation to the military in terms of hierarchy. (Source)
So, it wasn’t just “magic men are unrealistic”, it was “magic men are unrealistic and we don’t know if we outrank them.”
I can’t help but feel this is one of those things where we had actual documents saying “it was done with this and this”, and some old rich white guys looked at it and went “oh mirth, the ancients were so silly. They probably wrote this basic stuff down and the actual builders had Secret Techniques we need to Discover”
For a long time, archeologists didn’t know how greek women did their high-piled braids and hair. There was a word that translated to “needle” in the descriptions. They went, “seems like we’ll never know.” Then a hairdresser took a fucking needle (big needle) and did the fucking thing you do with needles, which is sew – and by sewing the braids into place, she replicated ancient styles.
The Egyptians had diagrams of construction steps for their pyramids. Archeologists went “oooh, ancient primitive people, how they do this?” LITERALLY MYTHBUSTERS OR THE OLD DISCOVERY CHANNEL or someone went “what if we did the thing the pictures said they did” AND GUESS FUCKING WHAT. GUESS FUCKING WHAT.
Also that thing with native Americans saying squirrels taught them how to get sap for maple syrup, and colonizers going “that’s a myth sweaty”
Sincerely, if the scientists had to do actual analysis like spectroscopy or whatever, kudos, and no flame. But swear to god, if all these years, we’ve had the recipes and there was just this fuckin institutional bias against just TRYING THE THING THEY SAID WOULD WORK, HELLFIRE AND DEMENTIA.
In this case, it was more they had roman writings saying what went into it but figured there was some secret because when they followed roman recipes it never turned out quite right.
Because the sources left by Romans always just said to mix with water. Because, if you were a Roman??? Obviously you knew that you used seawater for cement. Duh. That’s so obvious that they never really bothered specifying that you use seawater to mix it, because it wasn’t necessary, everyone knew that.
But then the empire fell, other empires rose and fell, time passed, and by the time we were trying to reconstruct the formula the ‘mix the dry ingredients with seawater’ trick had been forgotten, until chemical analysis finally figured it out again.
It’s sort of like the land of Punt, a ally of Egypt that’s mentioned all the time, but we don’t actually know where it was located. Because it isn’t written down anywhere. Why would they write it down? It’s Punt. Everyone knew where Punt was back then. It’d be ridiculous to waste the ink and space to specify where it was, every child knows about Punt.
3000 years later and we have no damned clue where it was, simply because at the time it was so blindingly obvious that it was never written down.
So moral of story is be specific
I was thinking it was stupid that they didn’t specify seawater but then I had the thought that we don’t specify to use chicken eggs in baking because DUH so we just write eggs
2000 years in the future people are going to be making scrambled fish eggs and crying bc the ancient recipes make no sense
millenial from the year 1910: the moving picture show has fucking destroyed my sense of humor like i only laugh at shit like this now *video of a clown throwing a pie at the hoity toity town mayor*
millenial from the year 1010: the king’s court jester has fucking destroyed my sense of humour like i only laugh at this shit now *jingles stick puppet of the king’s face with bells attached and gets sentenced to death for mocking his majesty*
[Give me… Give me the bread! Give me the bread, stupid! Give it back! Give me the bread! The bread! Give it to me! Borya, what are you doing? Give me the bread! Borya, give me the bread! For fuck’s sake, Borya! Give me the bread, please! Give me the bread! Just take a bite if you want to! Borya! Calm down and give me the bread… Borya!.. Borya! Borya, give me the bread! Give! Me! The bread! Borya, what are you doing, Borya, give me the bread! Borya, for fuck’s sake! Give it back! How long are you going to hang like this? This is just ridiculous! Give it back… You asshole! Bastard…]
although the caption is pretty accurate I gotta say it sounds like 100x funnier in russian XD