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lions-dont-barkatmidnight:

glumshoe:

mugwomps:

glumshoe:

I was just talking to a family. The dad used “he” pronouns for me while the mom used “she”. They kept shooting each other sharp glances and subtly shaking their heads.

I said nothing, delighting in the fact that I am not obligated to be helpful in this circumstance.

Shoe…you really are a fae…

My NPC catchphrase when I approach guests is “Hello and welcome! My name is Ship. If you need anything or if you have questions, please let me know!”

A few times, guests have asked questions I could not answer, and jokingly complained that my introduction was a lie because I didn’t immediately know everything they asked me. I have then replied, “Oh, but sir, all I said was to please let me know if you have questions. I never said I would actually answer them.”

A guest: I have a question

Ship: okay. *walks away*

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glumshoe:

etherealunicorn:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

“Hey, I like this color and it looks great on me!” you say one day.

Six years later you open your closet and nearly every shirt you own is the same shade of rusty red-orange. Help.

SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT.

I’VE BEEN MASC VELMA THIS ENTIRE TIME AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW

well my dudes it happened again

image

I was walking down the sidewalk downtown today and caught sight of my reflection in a shop window and realized I’m dressed like Velma AGAIN

Are you sure you’re not cosplaying Velma because, jinkies, you look like Velma a lot in that pic

no I just run towards warm-colored fabric like a bull charging a matador’s cape