Look at this! Look at this fucking thing! This was done in 1986, and used absolutely no CGI whatsoever. It was ALL practical, and ALL done through puppetry. Look at the last gif. Over a dozen vines are moving at once along with its head, lips, and tongue! In interviews Rick Moranis has stated he often forgot he was working with a puppet, as opposed to a really ugly guy. Even today it looks so real. Audrey ii is nothing short of miraculous
Okay, but I do wanna say that like. There is an aspect of this that happened in post-production which was timing. There was no way to get something of this size to move that fast, and so the film was sped up in post-production, with the human actors acting in slow-motion when in-frame with the puppet.
Rejoice! I finally remembered to add We Fight As One to my Redbubble store so now everyone can get it on stickers/shirts/backs/prints/etc while I work on getting the pin and patch versions out!
If you missed the meaning the first time, this was my capstone catch-all weapon for series 1 of the Armory, meant to represent the entire community and those who love us as a whole, as a symbol of inclusion and solidarity. I went with a celestial-themed greatsword for this one.
Abusers don’t hit you on the first date. They don’t write “I will humiliate and belittle you” on their Tinder profiles. They don’t wear “I break things to intimidate my partner” t-shirts. People don’t get trapped in damaging relationships because they saw an abuser coming from 20 yards away and decided “I’m going to date that person anyway”. That’s not how any of this works.
In the beginning, abusers can be some of the most thoughtful, attentive people you’ll ever meet. They’re obsessed with you; that’s what makes them so toxic and deadly as time goes on. Abusers buy you flowers. They remember your birthday. They remember to text you “good morning” and “good night”. They listen to your problems, confide in you and share silly inside jokes. They can keep that “loving, doting partner and best friend” mask in place for months or years if they have to.
So the first time they scream at you or hit you, you don’t see an abuser. You see your best friend, your confidante, the person who brought you soup when you were sick and always laughs at your stories about your nutty coworker. You tell yourself they just had a bad day. Maybe they were tired, sick, hungry, or under a lot of stress. You know them. You’ve made a life with them. And they’re so sorry and so ashamed of what they did. This isn’t who they are.
And so things go back to back to normal for a while. Wonderful, even. This is still one of the best relationships you’ve ever been in, even counting that one incident. You go back to date nights, cozy nights in and 5-hour-long conversations that feel effortless.
And then it happens again.
And you still don’t see an abuser. You see the person who means the most to you in the whole world. You decide that maybe they’re just struggling. Maybe they have mental health issues. They’ve told you every horrible thing that’s ever happened to them as a child, and maybe it has something to do with that. But either way, they’re not an abuser. Not yet. They’re just a person who needs you more than ever.
Then things are good for a while. Then something bad happens. Then it’s good again. Then it’s bad. Good. Bad. Good. Bad. And every time it happens, it gets a little harder to get out. The time you’ve invested in the relationship goes up, and your self-esteem goes down. By the time you realize that, yes, the person you thought you knew is an Abuser with a capital A, you’re in deep. You’re a frog that stood in a pot of water so long it turned you into soup before you even noticed it was getting a little warm. But you didn’t ask for this. And you certainly didn’t know it was coming.
We have this image in our heads of what abusers must look like. We picture brawny men with low foreheads and stained white tank tops, screaming at their wives while they drink beer in front of the TV. We think they’re like wildlife, as if we could spot them with the help of a guidebook and know to stay far away from them. But they’re not. Abusers can be anyone. They can be female. They can be accomplished. They can be well-groomed. Queer. Politically far-left. Politically far-right. Artists. Athletic. Charitable. Intelligent. They can come from any walk of life, any spot on the gender spectrum, any religion, any background. It’s not the abused person’s fault for not spotting them – they can’t always be spotted. It’s the abuser’s fault for abusing.
listen my man it doesn’t matter how many times you shriek you need a healer I am a delicate little music boy and you need to stay close to get your healing not charging into danger so you better jingle jangle back into the love zone or I’ll push your ass off a cliff
My first thought was “Bard in D&D”, it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize the OP probably meant Lucio in Overwatch.
We all know what erectile dysfunction is but literally no one is ever taught what vaginismus is and it can cause people to feel extremely lost, broken, and cause people to take their own lives.
Raise. Awareness.
For the uninformed, vaginismus is when the vagina painfully tightens and spasms when faced with pressure, usually from anything trying to insert into the vagina. It’s the reason I can’t wear tampons, and why many people can’t have vaginal sex without severe pain.
There’s not a lot of treatments, and there isn’t a single one that is for vaginismus exclusively – they’re all medications or treatments to treat symptoms, but not the causes. In fact, for a long time doctors waved off vaginismus as a purely psychological disorder in cis women.
Seriously, this is so unaddressed and uncared for in medical circles. Please spread awareness, even if all it’s for is to let those who have it but don’t have a name for it finally be able to understand what’s happening to their bodies.
I’ve never even heard of this??
Me neither. 😦
Thank you for sharing bc I think I might actually have this but I thought it was just me. I can barely handle so much as a tampon. Will have to bring this up at my next doctor’s appointment.
So, there is a website dedicated to vaginismus which I suffered from for years and had no idea how to talk about it. I found this website ten or twelve years ago and bought some of their products which helped immensely. I know nothing about the medications, but the dilator set is probably the best you can do because it is a way to help widen the vagina on your own terms. I still have mine even though I haven’t needed it for years because it could come back later.
One thing I appreciated about this website is that it emphasized that this is not your fault. Another thing I learned was that one cause could just be, you know, being part of a culture that gives women extreme anxiety about sex. This resource helped me when I was a lot younger and terrified that I was broken.
Anyways, here’s the website. Please share it with everyone you know: x
Brent Weeks included a character with vaginismus in his fantasy series, The Black Prism. It’s plot relevant (she needs to consummate a political marriage–to a husband she sincerely loves, no less), and she’s treated as a well-rounded character who it’s just one aspect of, and Weeks included an author’s note that was like “btw, this is a real thing. Here are resources on the topic. You’re not broken and you can get help.”
Which, like, from a male author? That’s pretty neat.
Vaginismus is psychosomatic and often is caused by anxiety. It’s also very real and quite painful.
It can be caused by sexual assault, but it can also be caused by just plain lousy sex. In some cases there’s no apparent cause.
It can occur during sex and/or during pelvic exams. Some people (hi!) experience it only during pelvic exams or pap smears. (Mine was caused by an incompetent medical professional who didn’t pay attention and used a speculum that was too large). And, as mentioned, some sufferers can’t insert tampons. I’d imagine it’s not impossible for somebody to be fine with sex but have problems with tampon insertion. I’ve also heard of people being fine with a penis but not with toys and vice versa. (Lube, people. Lube).
Vaginismus is a major cause of dyspareunia (painful intercourse), but there are other causes, which can include:
* Not producing enough natural lubrication. This can be a result of insufficient/bad foreplay, but some people never produce enough and levels of lubrication can drop during and after menopause, after childbirth, and while nursing. It can also be a side effect of medication. Lube exists, and some people have to use it. Vagina owners should always use water-based lubes.
* Injury down there, often as a result of childbirth complications.
* Yeast or bacterial infection.
* Ezcema
* A deformed vagina (this is rare, but it does happen. It’s generally connected to a chromosomal abnormality or a condition such as AIS)
* Scarring from pelvic surgery.
* Stress.
* Ovarian cysts
* Pelvic inflammatory disease.
* Ectopic pregnancy
* Some STDs, such as genital warts
* Vulvodynia – pain in the clitoris, labia and vaginal opening. This one’s even worse…we do NOT know what causes it.
* Latex allergy if using condoms. If using lube causes more pain, you may be allergic to the lube.
* Cystitis
* Uterine problems such as fibroids or endometriosis
* Cervicitis (inflammation of the cervix)
Many of these can be treated or worked around. Sex is not supposed to hurt. And if it does, you and your partner need to address why. Many doctors actually recommend sex therapy as a couple if you have vaginismus. If you have an infection down there, it can be treated. If your vagina is too dry, you can use supplemental lube. But you need to talk to your doctor if at all possible.
Again.
It’s not supposed to hurt.
No, not even the first time.
I’ve never seen this last addition on this post before and a lightbulb just went off because of it! I have used tampons successfully once or twice but every other time I’ve tried using them it hurts! When I first saw this post I thought I might have this condition BUT this addition made me aware of something else: chromosomal abnormalities! In my case Turner’s Syndrome! It makes sense. It messes with every other organ system of course it could cause this too!
This. Is. Literally. My. Whole. Life.
Periods aside, it also makes it so hard to get my pelvic exams and pap smears. People don’t talk enough about these things. I had no idea this was even an actual condition until I talked to my gynecologist. And then, I had no idea it was because of my sexual assault until I talked to my therapist.
This is such a real and horrible thing to have to live with. And it’s a big source of my depression. I dread my periods because sometimes pads just aren’t enough but it’s damn near impossible to use tampons, I dread my exams because I have no control over it and I will automatically tighten up and spasm. I swore up and down for years that there was something wrong with me, that I was maybe doing something to cause it. Turns out, it wasn’t my fault but the fault of the assholes who violated me.
Please, talk about this more.
(Also, The Black Prism by Brent Weeks helped me through the process of getting answers.)
