HELLO FRIENDS IT IS I, YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD FUCKINGRECIPES, HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY TRIP TO THE DENTIST.
SO I ARRIVE AND OF COURSE MY FANGS ARE KICKASS, BUT OH SHIT THAT SPOT OF SENSITIVITY ON MY EYETEETH ARE NOT THESE NATURAL LITTLE FUCKERS THAT I THOUGHT THEY WERE, BUT A WEARING AWAY OF ENAMEL!
‘fucking shit’ I THOUGHT, AS I STARED AT THE PICTURE OF MY GLORIOUS FANGS WITH THEIR TINY LITTLE SPOT OF EROSION.
‘but i brush my teeth all the damn time! Crest anticavity protection has failed me!‘
I VOICED THIS TO MY DENTIST, SHORTLY AFTER HE WRAPPED UP THE TRADITIONAL ‘it wouldn’t bleed if you flossed more’ SPEECH. HE NODDED SAGELY, LIKE I HAD VOICED SOME LITTLE-KNOWN SECRET OF THE UNIVERSE.
‘toothpaste erodes your enamel. It’s too strong.‘
WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT BALLS FUCKERY IS THIS BULLSHIT?
‘An experiment was done, where they took some teeth, out of people’s heads of course, and had a toothbrush machine put 7 years of wear on them via brushing in a fairly short time. Perfectly fine teeth, no difference between soft and hard bristle.’
AND THEN HE NARROWED HIS EYES, LIKE THE WORLD HAD BETRAYED HIM, AND HE WAS LOST IN HIS HEAD ON SOME SORT OF DARK VENGEANCE-QUEST.
‘But once they added toothpaste – the Enamal started wearing away, and the teeth showed obvious signs of erosion.’
THEN HE SMILED, LIKE ONE OF THOSE ANIME PROTAGONISTS TRYING TO PRETEND THEY HADN’T JUST HAD A TRAGIC PAST FLASHBACK, AND WANTED TO REASSURE THEIR FRIENDS THAT EVERYTHING WAS A-OK.
I SWEAR I COULD SEE FUCKING SPARKLES AROUND HIS FACE.
‘I’d much rather people brush their teeth 2-3 minutes, with just water, instead of a huge glop of toothpaste like the commercials show. Then again, a little freshness is nice. If you’re going to use it, a pea-sized bit of toothpaste, or less, is better. Flossing is essential, though!’
i imagine getting my own place all the time and going down to the grocery store early in the morning before everyone else and to the coffee shop and having a really small place with wide windows and lots of plants and shelves of books and a tiny kitchen where i can make tea and noodles and a bed with a pile of blankets and just a place i can make uniquely my own or maybe a place i could share with someone but i just think about this place a lot idk
One of my professors is an extremely famous, well-known painter who has been in galleries since he was a young man in the 80s. He once asked me in class, “Alyssa, what are your dreams and aspirations for the future?”
You should have seen the puzzled look on his face when I described something similar to the post above.
“Why so humble?!” He laughed. “You know you’re talented, right? You could aspire to a lot more than that for sure.”
And I had to take that moment to explain to him that this is what my generation is given, this is how low our standards for happiness have to be. A humble existence, a small piece of the world for ourselves, and comfortable stability are just as out of reach for some of us as fame and reknown was for him in the 80’s. His face went somber immediately.
cant believe a bunch of english kids go through a fuckin cupboard and find a magical kingdom full of wonder and they go “yeah we’re the royal family now”
typical english behaviour
I think what’s more creepily imperialistic is the reaction of everyone in Narnia to the Pevensies.
Like, the Pevensies end up the royal family in large part because everyone’s like ‘it has been prophesied that you will come and rule us and everything will be great!’ and, well, in-universe I can’t really fault them on that; if I were a young teen or pre-teen in a completely foreign country, I too would probably just go along with whatever seem to make people friendly to me.
But the reaction of the Narnians, in almost ubiquitously welcoming these foreigners as obviously destined to rule them even though they know nothing of the country and the culture… now that is some creepily imperialist writing.
This is the only good reblog of this post in it’s entire 3 year hellscape existence
if four foreign kids popped out of a magic box and deposed trump by the express wishes of god’s fursona, i’d crown ‘em. this winter already fuckin feels like it’s lasted 100 years.
Well, fuck, there is that.
mood
“By the express wishes of god’s fursona” is both the most amazing but also the most Deeply Cursed thing I have read all year
