This is the man you must fight at the gates of Valhalla to prove you’re worthy of that mighty hall
It somehow gets crazier. this teenager trained for months. he staged fights in his parents’ swimming pool to train for this epic match. he choose halloween night for the final showdown. and it was for a school project. he could have chosen any seafood, but he decided on, in his own words, “that big fucking octopus.” magnificent bastard.
Y’all missed the part where he dragged it ashore and divers saw him, got upset and sent some pretty rough stuff to his family. Then, at the Washington Fish and Wildlife meeting, he showed up and was like “yeah, it should be protected.”
Except that the giant pacific octopus is nowhere near extinct and actually doing just fine.
So not only did he wrestle, kill, and eat a giant octopus– he got it protected from hunting in several locations even though the species doesn’t need protecting.
Fucking legendary indeed.
So the only person they need protection from is this guy.
…what sort of school project requires you to wrestle sea life?
That’s just how Washington is
to be clear, the school project was to “draw something from nature.” nobody asked him to wrestle an octopus.
…now, I have misunderstood the spirit of a lot of art projects before but
some stupid ideas for dnd characters while i fight depression and boredom:
half elf, half tabaxi, full asshole
demon pretending to be a tiefling
doppelganger who took over someone’s life but had no idea they were an adventurer or into shady shit and is having a lot of trouble with trying to keep his identity up
some more:
monk that is DEFINITELY not saitama from opm but beefier
orc bard with low charisma and gets very nervous around cute people
someone who doesn’t have a tragic backstory. their parents are alive and well, they write to them all the time about their adventures, and their parents support their adventuring and send them things they might need
low intelligence wizard
low intelligence female barbarian whos just here for a good time
a cleric or warlock who’s married to their patron and very in love
warlock whose patron is their parent and they’re basically studying abroad on the human plane
a ranger whose companion is actually the ranger, but their bodies got switched
If you wanna use one of these lmk and send me updates on them
A human who’s from a family of tieflings. Someone in the family made a deal with a demon and the magic got weirded out so much it turned them human.
a druid who is just poison ivy, or dresses just like her
Dragonborn who look like crocodiles and speak with a southern accent
Shardmind or warforged who speaks like GLaDOS
Gunslinger dragonborn, but instead of using a gun, they shoot bullets from their mouth in a breath attack
A bard who uses an omatone
A timid human who looks like ur run of the mill wizard or librarian, but turns out to be a barbarian. All their rage comes from thinking about people who’ve bullied him or thinking about library late fees
A centaur rogue. Just imagine, you’re working as a guard in a deep, dark dungeon. You’re chatting with the other guard on duty, when suddenly you both hear a quiet “clip-clop-clip-clop” roaming through the corridors.
