Your dick will literally fall off. Like I don’t know what you’re hoping for. But if you jack off three hundred and seventeen thousand, eight hundred and eleven times in a day. Your dick will literally be reduced to a bloody stump.
The lionfish! When viewed from the right angle, these fishes’ ornate fins look like turkey plumage. But don’t get too close: these fins are made of venomous spines.
Lionfish are native to the Indo-Pacific, but in recent years they have invaded the waters of the southeast coast of the U.S., the Caribbean, and parts of the Gulf of Mexico, including Flower Garden Banks, Florida Keys and Gray’s Reef national marine sanctuaries – and they’re causing serious problems.
Here’s the issue: for lionfish, every day is Thanksgiving. A lionfish will eat almost anything that will fit in its mouth, including small fish, invertebrates and the young of larger fish. With their voracious appetites, lionfish can consume up to 90% of the juvenile and small fish on a coral reef, leaving those typically-vibrant habitats in deep trouble.
Researchers at national marine sanctuaries are working to remove these invasive fish. And they have to move fast, because lionfish populations increase very quickly, and they have no known natural predators in the Atlantic Ocean – though it’s possible that large fish may be developing an appetite for them.
There is one upside, though: lionfish happen to be quite tasty! Once stripped of its venomous spines, cleaned, and filleted like any other fish, the lionfish (or should we say turkeyfish) becomes delectable seafood fare – perhaps a welcome guest at this year’s Thanksgiving dinner.
Not feeling turkey for Thanksgiving? Give the turkeyfish a try!
As silly as it seems, eating lionfish if you’re in areas where it’s available is a great way to help with conservation efforts for other fish! One of the best ways to encourage people to fish for this invasive species (and in doing so hopefully reduce their populations) is to make sure there’s a market for them as food items. If you’re going to eat lionfish, be sure you know how to prepare it correctly to avoid getting hurt – or better yet, choose to support a local restaurant that serves it!
i spent christmas alone while my family got together and fought, and honestly i feel so good about this
i bought myself presents, cooked a big meal, drank wine and watched Home Alone 3 w/ my dog. I don’t feel sorry for myself at all.
meanwhile my sister threatened to disown my dad so he threatened to disown her, while my mom enabled and my other sister downed a bottle of wine to deal.
on the other side of the country, i was busy discovering, to my delight, that the that the 3rd installment of the Home Alone franchise not only stood up to the test of time, but contains some of the best oneliners and comedic timing I have ever seen.
honestly, keep toxic people out of your life. family isn’t everything, and bad family is often worse than no family. don’t be afraid to put in some distance, especially during high stress times like the holidays. you don’t actually owe them anything.
being alone for the holidays is so much better than being with people who make you unhappy.
I love how the 5e corebook is very clear about how dragonborn do not have tails and literally every player and DM since has unilaterally said “That’s fucking dumb give them a tail :/”
Big Gay Dracula Does a Shitpost 