Big Gay Dracula Does a Shitpost

draconym:

Ripley has a very good grasp of the word “touch” and we often use it as a command word to get him to try to be less afraid of new things or to ask his permission to pet him. He knows if we ask him to “touch” a person or object, he’ll be praised for gently tapping his beak against it. He also knows exactly what we mean when we ask him not to touch something,

Today I yelled at him for biting the wall and he did probably the pettiest thing I’ve ever seen him do: he went around touching stuff in the room and saying “no” and staring at me to make sure I was watching him do it.

wayneradiotv:

look , see this cherries? theyre my balls. my fat nuts

crying-havoc:

zhidovka:

bwaindex:

octoswan:

oniontitan:

i took his chair and he’s been staring at me for more than 10 minutes

for a hot second there I thought “he” was that bearded doll thing perched on the stairs and ngl I nearly pissed myself