agni-kai13:

eschatonin:

chorusofravenousangels:

sexhaver:

what if magic was real but it was treated the way music is now with different genres and like “oh youre still into conjuring? thats cool I guess. recently ive been getting into third-wave post-necromancy, it’s some pretty heavy stuff”

“what do you mean you’ve never learned FIREBALL, it’s a CLASSIC”
“idk I’m not really into evocations.”
“how can you not be into ANY evocations?”
“well, it’s kind of dad magic, isn’t it?”

Me: *floats surrounded by little stars*
Person: “Haha, what kind of nerd is into space atmosphere?”

Some dingus: transmutation is so passe why would anyone even learn it

Me transmuting a boring glass of water into delicious Dr pepper in my solid gold car: fuck you

mistermustachiogmc:

wishem:

qualitydoggo:

brendaonao3:

sensei-wrong:

symbiote-spideypool:

peter and wade are fighting side by side and when peter runs out of web fluid, he grabs a gun off wade’s belt and wade has this transcendent moment of i’m going to watch spiderman shoot my gun at a real live bad guy

but peter just fucking throws it at a bad guy’s face and knocks him out cold

The impact causes the gun to go off and shoot wade in the dick. Spider man spends the next several minutes frantically apologizing while cable laughs his ass off for the first time in years.

Pretty sure I’ve read this comic

@wishem please omg just a quick doodle or something even

I am sorry Cable looks like that

Don’t you dare apologize for perfection.

caden:

radicalposture:

radicalposture:

radicalposture:

listen just because a song was written before 1920 and has a fiddle in it doesn’t make it a sea shanty

I saw a ‘sea shanty playlist’ with finnegans wake in it and I almost died

a sea shatny is an unaccompanied work song with a call and response structure just because a folk song is about the sea doesn’t make it a shanty

transgooglesearches:

How to tell my dad my being trans is not about his feelings, let alone an attack towards them

archaeologysucks:

• Eat a worm.
• Chant “EAT IT! EAT IT! EAT IT!”
• Launch water balloons across the site at the portable toilet when someone was using it.
• Back the work vehicle up against the door of the portable toilet to trap someone inside.
• “Gently” tap the crew vehicle in front of them with the bumper of their vehicle.
• Discreetly vomit in the bushes due to hangover.
• Intentionally run over roadkill while laughing maniacally.
• “Moon” the work camera.
• Topless Day
• Throw a co-worker into the bog of water-screening run-off sludge.
• Flint-knap right next to a test unit.
• Chase one another around with a dildo they found (and then bag it as an “artifact” and send it back to the lab).
• Draw a smiley face on their hardhat in their own blood.
• Write off a shovel probe because there was a horse standing on the spot that wouldn’t move.
• Yell out, “I peed on a snake! :D”
• Have a shovel fight.

ultra-frog:

ultra-frog:

dirt king dirt king dirt king

The dirt king appreciates this attention

oh-little-owl:

whos-she-gonna-call:

Cards Against Humanity is hiring new writers and folks…………….. I’ve waited my entire life for this

Hire this person

socialmediapeasant:

dreamingofbabylon:

socialmediapeasant:

dreamingofbabylon:

scithesuperb:

ativantaliban-deactivated0988:

unclefather:

(Chanting) ancient cheese with a deadly disease ancient cheese with a deadly disease ancient c

CAN WE STILL EAT THE FUCKING BOG BUTTER?

Fellas we’ve got ourselves 2 outta 3 ingredience for a legendary Grilled Cheese

Grilled cheese!!!!

HELL YEA BAYBEE WE DONE IT !! GOD HERSELF GONNA GRILL US A CHEESE

Tonight we dine like kings