Very Good Trope: Civillian is told “ stay in the car” while hero goes to confront villain. Hero gets in over head and all seems disaster. Civillian crashes car into villain.
Me, watching: ohhohoho! But they stayed in the car! Yesss, this is very good!
So much better than the “they get out of the car and end up in trouble ruining the hero’s plan” trope.
The bathroom at work has a motion sensor light that turns off every 30 seconds so every time I try to take a fucking shit at work I gotta have a rave party with my arms while sitting my ass on the toilet or else I’ll just sit in pitch blackness
You know, I see a lot of posts out there about dumb shit that players do and while all of those posts are incredibly valid, I feel like this is dumbass DM erasure. I dearly love every story about bards who seduce the final boss and warlocks with sugar daddies and all that BUT I think DMs are greatly misunderstood to all be these serious controlling entities who just want their players to follow through with their perfectly planned scenerios. Here’s to all the dumbass DMs out there who:
– forget their NPC names and constantly make up new names for unimportant recurring NPCs when the players see them in hopes that they wont remember
– plan a whole dungeon around one (1) spongebob reference that they really wanted to fit in
– accidentally give two NPCs the same name bc you just pull from a list and you forgot to cross it off
– choose to homebrew everything bc they have an Artistic Vision but the vision is just that you want there to be three gnomes in a trench coat selling sketchy magical items somewhere in the setting
– use the same dumbass voice for every NPC but with different 90s surfer slang for different characters
– make just awful items and make their players buy them (I’m currently working on the “Ross From Friends” tramp stamp of +1 AC)
– realize they only have 28 minutes before the next session to plan and instead make text posts on tumblr.com
Anyway if any DMs want to add onto this with some dumbass shit they’ve subjected their players to feel free
Realizing too late that a one off joke about grinches living in the Karloff mountains has given your PCs an plausible shortcut through what was going to be several sessions of wilderness exploration.
Big Gay Dracula Does a Shitpost 