Smash or pass: the sexy tuna guy from the starkist cans
Fuck marry kill: green giant, sexy tuna, mr clean
You are NOT allowed to kill mr clean
This is obvious, kill the sexy tuna because that’s just weird, fuck Mr clean because he’s ripped and you know you won’t catch anything, now here you might think marry Mr clean because he’ll clean the house, but no, his cleanliness standards would be unbearable.
marry the green giant, making you basically a pagan god through marriage, and he can probably make vegetables grow using magic and as a vegan I need that, dick probably too big to do anything with but like, pagan marriages can be poly I think
I want you to know you are so powerful to be able to begin with “this is obvious”
Someone: If you could have any one super power what w-
Trans and nb people:
just gonna be real and say that shape shifting is by far the best super power just from how versatile it is
it packs in shape shifting(duh), flight, super strenght, and regeneration depending how you look at it(shapeshifting into a form without your injuries), possibly a few others
also, stretching/shrinking, extrahuman abilities taken from animals (stereoscopic sense of smell? expanded color range? underwater breathing? able to just straight-up hear heartbeats n stuff? night vision?), plus ALL CLOTHING would fit. EVERYTHING is your size and looks good on you.
and, more debatably, able to turn into different states of matter, immunity to some poisons and hostile environments, ability to travel incredibly quickly through open spaces by turning into light and back again.
If you can’t find a place on your blog for Patrick Stewart in a bathtub dressed like a lobster, then your blog probably doesn’t deserve such majesty anyway.
It has returned to my dash and I cannot fight the compulsion to reblog…
the patrick lobster appears only once in a thousand years, reblog for good luck
