look at the two of them. dressed to the nines. silks from france and cotton from egypt. chanel on them both. they’re at a party neither of them was invited to, but so damn good looking that no one in their right mind would turn them away at the door. the woman – titties free under that dress, scoping out women in salacious flapper dresses in gloves created from 100,000 insects’ life work. the man – smoking a cigarette he took out from the mouth of one of the millionaires at the party, saying nothing but giving him a slow smile and a wink. the flower in his lapel is fake. dying plants in your clothing is such a hideous fashion. the both of them haven’t spoken to anyone there, though everyone has tried. they stand on the stairs staring at the heterosexual proles gathered below them together, and the two of them wonder if those fools realize that they’re outclassed, that in every way, they’ve been outdone. they leave early with a bottle of champagne in each fist, and no one stops them.
This is the most extra analysis I have ever seen of anything ever and I agree with all of it
Man I have never known straight dude writers to shy away from putting out stuff like ‘my thinly-veiled self-insert goes on a mediocre adventure but more importantly ends up in a love quadrangle with these four female characters who are all incredibly hot to me’, but most of the lady writers I know get nervous if they write one (1) love story where *gasp* two whole dudes compete for the same lady’s love!
So listen.
Listen.
Go out and give your warrior witch lady a magic talking panther that flies and five hot elf boyfriends (or girlfriends, or datemates, whatever) who all happily share her. Or fight over her. Whichever. Make each of them as smoking hot as you please. Indulge yourself. Live.
And this goes absolutely double for WoC and trans ladies and queer ladies and everyone else who has extra troubles with being shamed for your indulgence.
If you’re going to worry about stuff in your story it should be things like ‘is that trope racist?’ or ‘how do I fix this plot hole?’, not ‘am I putting in too many elements that I personally enjoy?’
Superman is a tiny tiny little rooster who unfortunately was a little bit stunted in the growth area when he was a little chick.
Brother and sister, born at the exact same time.
He eventually caught up but by then the flock had basically bullied him so much for being tiny he’d been entirely ostracized and turned into a complete loner so now he has to live all by himself over with the cows, but he doesn’t care one bit because now he’s the leader of four big brown four legged chickens and honestly who can say that.
Also he’s super-cuddly.
I love him.
my name is Cow i haf to bend so i can see my tiny frend he cares for me and all the herd i care for him i lik the burd
if someone uses the wrong pronouns, you correct them, and if they still insist on using the wrong pronouns then you show them this picture and tell them i am coming for them!!
In which the spouse and I both realize we’re vindictive southern belles.
Oh I do this all the time in academia.
“we’ve met” is, as stated, usually acknowledgement of a one-sided grudge. The aggressor isn’t actually very likely to dignify this with a response stronger than the kind of willful amnesia that leaves god and everyone wondering what she’s playing at and what the victim did to deserve it.
“we’re acquainted”, on the other hand, means that these two Southern Ladies know each other for three generations and actively maintain open hostilities along multiple vectors. There is about to be blood shed in this O’Charleys at 2pm on a Sunday. The actual victim of gossip will be whoever did that introduction, because everyone knows that Mary and Louise have hated each other since 1951, and how did that person not know? You fool.
it’s rly sweet ppl think I live anywhere near a target like,
i can walk into some of the shops in my town barefoot carrying my dog and nobody will tell me to leave.
target isn’t brave enough to build here.
The last bastion of hope.
yeah also it’s not illegal to ride a horse to a bar and get wrecked in lieu of a designated driver so like. we have a lot going on here.
Let’s be real though, the horse will always head back to its barn, so really this is a great idea. Get smashed, tie yourself to the horse, let the horse do whatever, and you’ll end up at home.
…..not that I’ve ever done that on a trail ride before.
Okay, so a trail horse is reliable here, because a horse that’s afraid of city noises will head for home and avoid anything “dangerous” because it’s afraid.
However, in my experience city-trained horses are much more obedient and are unafraid of roads and trust their rider a lot more fully.
So if your drunk ass says “yeah let’s steer into oncoming traffic”
the horse is gonna say “seems weird but okay man.”
Okay this is 100% a legitimate point.
The only horse you should trust as DD is a horse with a healthy fear of speeding traffic.
I would hope that that’s all horses
It is possible and common to train the good sense right out of a city horse.
Very very true.
A city horse would walk facefirst into an oncoming train if you asked it to.
This is why I prefer country horses with a degree of realization of its own mortality left to it.
What the hell kinda city has a horse
…I just love the fact that there is a distinction between country horse and city horse.
What is a city horse, what IS it
left ma and pop’s farm to make it big out there…..that horse’s gonna be a star
so this might seem dumb but its helped a lot instead of saying “i wanna die” in normal conversation or like in my head in response to minor inconveniences like even as a joke, saying “i wanna go to bed” has like. improved my life tenfold no joke
Big Gay Dracula Does a Shitpost 