Big Gay Dracula Does a Shitpost

bobavader:

Dont worry ma’am, i’ll be able to help your case. I may not have passed the bar exam but i’m kin with all the finest lawyers around

enye-word:

wordcubed:

If God never existed, then whose heavenly staircase did I march up, whose heavenly host did I best in battle, and whose severed head do I keep stowed in my basement?

bruh that was your landlord

smallest-feeblest-boggart:

janglingargot:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

vorbits:

vorbits:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

*someone posts selfie* wow they’re kinda attracti—

*remembers teenagers are on this site*

*checks op’s bio, they’re a minor*

what a sweet kid…a cute bean… you deserve only good things…be happy and safe little muffin… I wonder if I could pull off that eyeliner…

hey gaudy? you’re a cool adult.

#and this is why the ‘but they looked 18/21’ excuse is such utter bullcrap#you check#you ALWAYS check#and you NEVER get to use a young person’s appearance to justify your own inappropriate behavior

reblogging again for the tags because this holds so much value to me as a minor and i think it’s really important that y’all understand this.

#adults have a responsiblity to keep kids safe  #no matter how old they are

When I was sixteen, my family visited Hawaii, and I had a cute new swimsuit. I was a pretty busty teen, with the vocabulary of an AP English student, and while I was out swimming, a couple of college guys started flirting with me. Nothing gross, just pleasantly casual hey-you-look-great-how-are-you-enjoying-the-beach stuff.

After a minute or two of this, one of them asked if I was there with friends, and I said no, I was with my family. “Wow, you still travel with your family?” one exclaimed. “That’s cool…”

“Well, I am sixteen,” sez me.

Reader, they blanched. They flustered, they apologized, they assured me that they’d thought I was also in college, they wished me a good vacation and they bounced. All within about a minute of realizing they’d been chatting up a minor.

I was mildly mortified at the time, but now? I look back and think, Ah, what good men. What good young men.

^^^^

punkfaery:

book legolas is pretty cool but film legolas reminds me of one of those incredibly beautiful, incredibly stupid long haired pedigree dogs that you sometimes see in grooming parlours having their claws painted purple. like you could just pick him up and look into his eyes and there would be nothing going on behind them. film legolas has the elvish version of elevator music playing in his head at all times and i honestly love it

vixiemoondew:

captainsnoop:

the best way to play Pokemon games is like you’re an 8 year old. IV? EV? Shiny chaining? Nah. We catch pokemon because they look cool. if my pokemon is bashful or whatever that means nothing to me.

almost correct: if my pokemon is bashful, that means that they are shy and i need to be gentle with their pokefeelings!!