Big Gay Dracula Does a Shitpost

dukebee:

lilithn:

eggsahoy:

me the 3rd time I’ve gone up to this guys hotel room to ask him to stop vaping because it’s setting off the fire alarm because the clouds are so thick it’s disrupting the sensors and he answers the door all freaked out and jumpy and I have to go in and look around and make sure there isn’t actually a fire only to find that the curtain rod is broken and the closet shelf is broken and the sheets are tied into ropes and when I asked him about it he admitted to me that he did a lil meth and decided to try autoerotic asphyxiation but nothing was sturdy enough and to please not tell his boss because he was in town for job training and they’re paying for his room:

I’m sorry what

Working at a hotel is just Like That

pkbunny:

pkbunny:

Mine was marill

it’s fun to read the tags ~ 

also masuda method and red gyarados  doesn’t count you guys  

Sylveon!

princessplain:

Autumn walks 🍁

mirthfulrealist:

mirthfulrealist:

God, Going Postal is SUCH a good book.

Seriously, it has everything you could hope to read about.

• Intense political intrigue
• Two interesting facts about angels
• Magical haunted mail
• “NEITHER RAIN NOR SNOW NOR GL OM OF NI T WILL STAY THESE MES ENGERS ABO T THEIR DUTY”
• Literal gallows humour
• This romantic exchange: “Would you like to have dinner tonight?” “I like to have dinner every night. With you? No.”
• Charismatic con artist having to confront his sins
• A guy who looks like a pirate but really he’s a different kind of pirate
• Technological advances captured in real time
• Golems
• Unrelenting savagery against capitalism, monopoly, and privatisation
• Wizards
• An alternate Universe where Pi is exactly three
• Mrs. Cake

chefpyro:

my friend told me to make this