do you think the dc universe has a news site like the onion that’s just like…
“meddling parents still alive, preventing bruce wayne from adopting yet anther orphan”
“new study shows that 87% of all americans class superman as american citizen despite being born on a different planet, but only 49% avoided eye contact when asked about why martian manhunter doesn’t count”
“area woman thanking her lucky stars that batman and superman fell out on the same day she was due to go to boss’ niece’s bat mitzvah”
“arkham guard astonished by trip to iron heights, only now learning what locks are for”
“area man pretty sure he should be making more than $60k a year if his boss has 10 billion dollars to waste on robotic exosuit”
“breaking news: lex luthor sues superman for loss of earnings, claims that continually losing fights to him is negatively affecting his work ethic”
“Hub City mayor declares state of unemergency after two hours without a violent crime”
“grown man who dresses in halloween costume every night thinks clown his biggest problem”
“disappointed child realizes Booster Gold at birthday party the real one, not just a guy in a costume”
“drunk Aquaman rampages through ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ ride”
“new Teen Titan not attached to any Justice League member wonders why they’ve been issued a uniform with a red shirt”
“Earth totally not a tax haven, say Green Lantern Corps as they assign eighth lantern to same planet”
“’no one knows how to stop him’ says armed police officer as non-powered clown-themed supervillain begins 82nd massacre this year”
sorry I didn’t finish this post because Tumblr wanted me to add a gif and this was the first one suggested and iwas laughing to hard to remember what i was going to say
Sometimes gay ships are incredibly straight if you know what I mean
Like those ships where its two male characters who have zero chemistry and barely spoke in canon but every single person ships them so you cant say anything bad abt it even though you know people really only ship them because they’re the two most conventionally attractive male characters to force together so female fans can quench their thirst for yaoi
*stares violently at the wwe fandom*
Ive gotta say this takes the cake for the most unexpected comment on this post
Big Gay Dracula Does a Shitpost 