no, listen, when I say I want to integrate more specific solarpunk stuff in my life, i don’t mean to ask for yet again new “aesthetic” clothes that now you have to buy or make to show your support of the movement (screw that i’m consuming enough as it is), or more posts about impossible house goals, or whatever, I’m asking you what my options to build a portable and eco friendly phone charger are, im asking you viable tiny-appartment edible plants growing tricks on a budget, im asking tips to slow down when my mind and society tell me im not fast enough, i don’t need more rich art nouveau amateurs aesthetics or pristine but cold venus project, okay, i know i should joins associations where I am tho i’m constantly on the move, thanks for that, just, you know, can we get a bit more practical ??? how do I hack my temporary flat into going off the grid for the time i’m here
Hello! ☀️ Here are a few practical suggestions for stuff you can do:
Listen up. There is literally an app that can help you avoid self harm and I don’t know why we aren’t talking about it.
Calm Harm can be tailored to your needs and will provide strategies to help you get past those crucial moments of wanting to harm.
It’s also totally FREE.
once again, it’s called CALM HARM
SIGNAL FUCKING BOOST
WHY WOULD YOU NOT REBLOG. IDGAF ABOUT YOUR BLOG THEME
For anyone that needs this!
Please it’s gREAT.
This app is really helpful and cute :3
This helps me a lot, as when my dysphoria gets really bad, I often get really intrusive thoughts of self harm. This app is one of the ways I deal with it!
Customer Probably Named Carol: No no no no no no. You are not paying. I’M paying.
Sharon: Oh hush, I’ve got it. *holds out credit card*
Me: *reaches out to take credit card*
Carol: Nonononononono! *blocks me from taking credit card* You are NOT PAYING for this! {to me} Do NOT let her pay. Hold on, let me just– *fumbles with wallet*
Sharon: *rolls eyes* *holds out credit card again* Here, just take mine.
Me: *reaches out to take credit card*
Carol: *waves a twenty dollar bill at me* Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare take her card! Sharon, I told you, I’m the one paying!
Me: *hesitantly starts to reach for twenty*
Sharon: *glares at me* Don’t listen to her. I’m paying!
Me: *hesitantly starts to reach for credit card*
Carol: Sharon, please! *swats credit card with twenty*
Sharon: *gasp* Carol, stop! *reaches over Carol with credit card*
Carol and Sharon: *scuffle madly for seven minutes*
A customer needs to run back to get something and asks you to watch their infant child at the register. You wait. And you wait. Their child is graduating from the eighth grade now. You wait some more. The child’s prom is coming up. You take their picture. You’re so proud
The dishwater never leaves the back of the house. They never even seem to leave the restaurant. At least, not during daylight hours.
The customer tells you they have coupons. They pull out a small plastic folder and set a stack of coupons on the counter. They pull out a second small plastic folder and set a stack of coupons on the counter. They pull out a third small plastic folder and set a stack of coupons on the counter. They pull out a fourth small plastic folder…
The supply truck comes every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. No one ever orders any food. Your manager just asks you to silently take the contents into the walk-in. They tell you to speak of this to no one.
The customer asks where the pasta is. You tell them it’s in aisle 3. They yell at you, claiming they looked, and it isn’t there. My mistake, you tell them. It’s been moved to aisle 11. There is no aisle 11. The Manager will feast tonight.
The Manager says to take your break at 2. You look at the clock. 1:58. Several minutes later, the clock still reads 1:58. More time passes. The sun is setting. Darkness descends. Still, the clock reads 1:58.
tbh I’d love a horror-comedy about a retail worker accidentally becoming a ghost/demon hunter because they’re just so unfazed by difficult and weird and bellicose customers that evil entities aren’t much more of a challenge.
“sir or ma’am or neuter, I’m going to have to ask you to stop crawling on the ceiling, you’re disturbing the other residents”
“please leave this place before I call the exorcist to remove you from the premises”
“company policy forbids me from accepting power from customers in exchange for my soul or firstborn child”
“sir, if you keep speaking to me like that, I’m going to have to end this spirit board conversation. have a good day, goodbye”
the walls start weeping blood. our hero gives a long-suffering sigh, walks away, comes back with a wheelie mop bucket and biohazard gloves. hey, it’s better than bathrooms on the overnight shift, at least blood’s not smelly when it’s fresh.
After facing Karen of the Many Coupons and Screaming Children, Asgortoh the Reaper of the Damned is no contest.
Plot Twist: The Dark Entity is also an entry level grunt, and as they face off over and over they gain a mutual respect for the other just doing their job, and slowly fall in love. Title: The (minimum) Wages of Sin.
i always forget that vampires do exist in the harry potter universe and its like?? voldemort i thought u wanted to be immortal why fuck with horcruxes u couldve just been a vampire??
my theory is that voldemort just really really likes garlic
i know this is a joke post but u can kill a vampire with a wooden stake which is a thing that most wizards have on them at all times
Big Gay Dracula Does a Shitpost 